Parenting advice for toddlers – Here is what not to do!
Parenting is a hard job that has no manuel on how to prepare for it. Many people go into it understanding the basics such as feedings, changing diapers and so on. Some do not even have that knowledge and learn on the go. Learning to parent toddlers has its own set of challenges.
In this post I give my parenting advice for toddlers on what you should not do. We will look at four things not to do such as yelling, failing to spend time with them, indulging their every want and forcing them to go to sleep alone.
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Yell at your toddler
Time to time we get worn down, tired, stressed out from life. Work related, extended family, friends could contribute also to your current state of not being at your best.
Our toddlers are very perceptive and understand when things are not going as well as we would like. Sometimes when they sense this our toddler’s try to push things to see how much they can get away with by “pretending” to not hear our instructions. My son is like this. He is a good boy but sometimes will not “hear” our instructions. Tell him to get down from a piece of furniture and he refuses. Not to open a door and yet he does it. Regrettably at times I have lost my patience and yelled at him to stop doing these actions. You know what in the majority of cases this never works to quiet down and/or stop doing dangerous things
Further more yelling does not do any good, it does not solve anything and may actually encourage the behavior to continue since he knows how to push my buttons. In those moments I take a moment to reset my mind usually by getting a few moments away or if that is not possible closing my eyes on the stop I stand and meditate. Once I can clear my mind of the stress, reset my mind a calmness comes over me and I am able to once more re-engage my toddler.
I recommend you try it if this is something you struggle with as well. This is something nobody ever tells you about before having children but it is very real and we as parents need to know how to deal with it in a healthy manner.
Not spend time with them
I personally try to spend as much time as possible with my children everyday I am with them. If I am unable to be with them for whatever reason in the back of my mind I feel like a bad father.
If you are like me you work all day, when I get home I am tired physically and mentally. If I did not have children I could easily put my feet up and do nothing for the rest of the night. Honestly I have been there and done that so I want to enjoy life to its fullest with my children.
Toddlers do not stay small for long. Soon enough my son will grow out of this stage and unless I have more children, very unlikely I will never have the opportunity to experience this stage of my children again. It is a sweet innocent time, where they do not comprehend the realities of our world. Were each new experience has the possibility to create a memory that will last a lifetime.
Despite whatever we are feeling now as fathers it is important we do not neglect our children by putting all the time outside hobbies, interests even work ahead of our children. Yes these things have value but if you are not around for your children they will find things to replace you with. A day will come when you may bag your child to do something but he will be into his own things and not interested. Then you will have wished you spent time with her.
Give them everything they want
My son wants what he wants and at times I will give him those things. There are times though where it is important to draw a line in the sand and say no to that thing he wants to receive. Over indulging our children can lead them to come to expect when they want something they have a right to receive it. When they do not get what they want they may through a tantrum. It is important to snub this early as it is very bad behavior.
A note: It is important in my opinion that as a father to a toddler that we walk a fine line with giving and denying our child. I say this because if you deny too much then that can also lead to self-worth issues developing. This is just as dangerous as giving them too much of what they want.
Force them to go to sleep alone
This is a personal decision each parent must make that suits themselves and their children the best. In my opinion I am against forcing my son as I was with my daughter that they go to sleep alone. A reason for this is the fact I get to spend little time during the day with him during the day. I value my time with my son and daughter very much because I know someday they will grow out of this stage where they want to always be around me.
People make arguments for and against sleeping with their children. We have not had any issue with it so I will continue to not force my toddler to go to sleep alone.
In conclusion I provided you with four pieces of advice of what not to do on parenting to toddlers.
Please take action today to implement measures to not do things such as yelling, not spending time with your toddler, giving them everything they want and forcing them to go to sleep alone.
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Proud papa of two,