How can I help my daughter self esteem? – 8 tips for fathers

How can I help my daughter self esteem? – 8 tips for fathers




The father daughter relationship is in my view a very beautiful thing. If as fathers we do it right we will contribute to nurturing beautiful, caring, thoughtful, strong women with a high self-esteem.




It is important for us as fathers that we take our primary male roles in their lives seriously and learn how to build our daughters self-esteem up and keep it up by consistently being engaged in their lives.




I have done research online about ways as fathers we can help raise and maintain in our daughters a high level of self-esteem. As, a result I created this post to present ways you can work to achieve this goal.




It is my hope that if you already are working on this you may find some suggestions helpful and apply them to your own relationship with your daughter. Or you may want to improve on this role but are unsure how to do so.




In this article we will explore the question fathers ask themselves, how can I help my daughter self-esteem? Let’s begin by looking at the first suggestion on our list, being a protective dad.








Nearly all dads are ready and willing to go to bat for their daughters, willing to fight lions, to scale the highest mountain to save them.




But do you as a father understand your daughter also needs you to be their emotionally, financially and spiritually to guide, protect and support them?







When she needs you to hear her, do you really listen?

When she needs you to buy her a special dress do you support her in this?

When she is searching for meaning in life do you support her spiritually?





In general are you available when she needs you to be there?





She will feel a strong sense of self-esteem knowing you are protecting her across all of life’s challenges in its different forms when you do this.







treat wife greatHow you treat her mother or your spouse if you have remarried play a factor in your daughter’s self-esteem.




She will form her standards of how a relationship should function off of your interactions with your significant other.







Do you place your wife on a pedestal (In a Healthy Manner)?

Do you open doors for her?

Do you wait patiently while she gets dressed to go out?

Do you give her foot rubs?

Clean up the dishes after she has had a long day with the kids?






In general do you treat your wife as the queen she is?




You love your daughter with all your heart and want her to find a spouse who will always treat her the way you know she deserves to be treated.




I know deep down this is something as a father I long for my daughter.




Go ahead and demonstrate your love for your wife and your daughter will come to expect her future spouse will treat her and never accept anything less.





You have great power over the destiny of your daughter’s future love life.





You need to decide if you will do everything in your power to ensure her self-esteem is high and become an excellent role model everyday by treating your wife as a queen!














I know sometimes I have told my daughter to go spend time with her mother when she wanted to do activities with me alone.





Also, I have told my daughter that her younger brother needs me to put him to sleep or play with him.





Every time I did that it hurt her self-esteem because part of her could not understand it was not meant to be a push away.




If you are doing the same please stop this, do not push her away from spending time with you ever.





Without realizing it you will be hurting her self-esteem.





She will think and believe she is not worth much since you do not want to spend time with her. Instead, allow her to grow close to you by always including her when she wants to be included.




Take her with you when you go out to pick up supplies from the depot. Take her to the paintball club or just in general when you are running errands.




  Find ways to keep her included in your life.









communicatingWhen you speak with her give her your one hundred percent focus when communicating together. Show her how a man should treat her by providing her your undivided attention.





If you are distracted easily by activities such as watching TV, reading a book or doing a hobby then turn off the TV, put down the book and stop doing your hobby so you can communicate.





When, communicating with her validate her feelings about what is going on in her life. Do not belittle them since she is a child. Remember these experiences with you are laying her foundation of what her future relationship with her spouse will be like. Done correctly this action will help strengthen your daughters self-esteem.









cheering her up

This is similar to the point about communicating with her.





Any time your daughter is feeling bad about herself first try to understand what is going on, why she is upset and make her feelings validated.





After, this step try to make her forget the emotionally hurt by cheering her up.





You can be make her happy by doing something she finds funny.





You know your daughter better than any aside from her mother. Decide what is best to cheer her and then do that.




Do not demand she smiles and forget the pain as this will lower her self-esteem. You will be inadvertently telling her feelings do not matter in this manner. It’s better to go about it gently.









judging other womenAs, a man you may never think that judging other women around your daughter will have an impact on her self-esteem but on some level it will.





By judging other women you are inadvertently telling her that you also feel the same way about her.





If you say that women looks fat in those clothes she will internalize that and believe you also feel the same way about her since you feel that about other women.





When in doubt it’s better for you to protect your daughter self-esteem by either saying something positive or nothing at all.









encourage her




Is your daughter passionate about dancing, running, chess or “put any interest here” As her father you build her self-esteem by encouraging her to participate in those activities she finds interesting. Be her supporter, cheering her on, celebrating her accomplishments and reminding her to get back up after defeats.




From my research I learned that successful female Olympic athletes had supportive fathers in their lives. Show her you are behind her by taking her to her events and cheering her on. Research how she can do her passion better and present her the information.





Actions like these from you will help build her self-esteem.





Also, her following, learning and achieving her goals in her passion will build up her self-esteem. You as her father can help make her become a strong woman.




Encourage her.











The last suggestion on this list today is for you as a father to participate in activities with your daughter.








Play sports with her

Go to activity clubs

Take her on dates

Take her to work with you





Do as many activities together as possible. This will build up her sense of self-esteem by you include her in many areas of your life.




Open your mind up to the possibility she may not have the interests you think daughters typically have. You may want her to like only girly things but she may be into watching your favorite sporting event with you.




This like the other suggestions listed in this article point to how you can build her self-esteem as your daughters primary male role model, acceptance.




If you accept your daughter for who she is, the interests she takes, her feelings, treasure and foster them in her she will feel a great sense of self-esteem and be better positioned to make smart decisions in her life.







In conclusion, we looked at ways you as your daughters father can build her self-esteem, such as being a protective dad, treating her mother (your spouse) well, letting her grow close to you, communicating with her, cheering her up when she is down, not judging other women around her, encouraging her and participating in activities together.




After researching online I learned that when you as your daughters father take actions as mentioned here today your daughters self-esteem will be better for it, she will be less likely to get into serious problems in her life, more likely to have sex later in life (even waiting for marriage), more likely to graduate from post-secondary education and have a career before starting a family.




For my part I intend to implement as many of these suggestions into my own relationship with my daughter. I want to do whatever is within my power so she makes decisions that give her the best chance of a stable future.




Please leave your comments below, do you see value in this post? What do you agree with? What don’t you agree with? What suggestions of your own do you have that you can contribute?




I would love to learn about them. Thanks for your time!





Jody the name of author is displayed





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6 thoughts on “How can I help my daughter self esteem? – 8 tips for fathers”

  • Hello,
    Yours is a very beautiful blog and really attracted my interest.
    I really liked your articles and it was very personal and true. I read it from the point of view of a daughter as I am a daughter and I really liked when you say “do not judge woman when she is there”.
    I think this is under evaluated and it has personally happened to me and affected me.

    • Hello,

      I hope you are doing great today!

      I am glad you found the blog helpful.

      I am sorry you had that happen to you and that it has affected your self-esteem. 

      You are more valuable than all the treasures of the earth combined.

      I was did research for this blog and learned about not judging other women when your daughters are present. I personally do not believe fathers intend to hurt their daughters nor wives for that matter when they do that. I believe they may not be aware they are doing it. Not that it is an excuse because it is not. 

      As a father I instinctively want to protect my family in the way I know how to. This is not necessarily going to be the way my family requires me to protect them. As fathers we need to learn to protect our families in the ways they require.

      There is a book called the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, you may have heard of it. In it he explains that there are five methods of communicating love to another person that all people on earth use. You can communicate in your love language that you love (spouse and children) till you are blue in the face. It will not matter. You need to learn their love language and use that to communicate your love.

      Have a great day!


  • Even though I have no kids yet, these are awesome tips to remember for when I do.

    I think these pints could go for boys and girls — but I think it would be more effective on girls to help them grow up.

    It’s sad how many households don’t have both parents now a days.

    I will try to be the best father I know how to be when the time comes be it I have a daughter or son.

    • Hello Michael,

      Yes it is sad like you say that there are many single parents homes today. 

      Good point, these points could be used for boys as well. 

      I am glad you have found some value in the tips I listed. Do you have any tips you believe should be included in this list?

      Have a great day!


  • Hey Jody

    Wow is all I can say to this

    What an absolutely brilliant article and Yes, my friend you have nailed everything here in this wonderful post.

    I am a MUM and I raised my kids alone and having a Dad like you around would have been such a blessing as I went through so much alone because my husband did nothing to support and love the children

    I asked him to leave as alcohol was more important than true fun with our gorgeous children

    Fortunately I have 2 great friends who were kind men and they came and played games with the children which was awesome

    Children are our future and we all need to love them and give them all we can and you have really shared some truly important information in this post 

    Congrats on being awesome and all the best Jody

    Your kids are lucky to have you

  • Hello Vicki,

    Thanks for your kind words! I am trying to be a better father for my children each day and can not relax in pursuing this goal. Life is busy but making time for my kids needs to always be my number one priority. 

    I am happy to hear your two friends were great influences on your children! I am sure your children were very blessed to have them. Sometimes it is more important for children to have a male role model even if he is not blood related. 

    Thanks again for your kinds words!

    Proud papa of two,


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