Four qualities good fathers should demonstrate
Are you like the stereotypical father, goes to work, runs errands, comes home, spends time with your wife and plays with your children? Do you do things around the house, fixing this and that? I personally know how it is easy to fall into the trap of being complacent. Of not expecting more of myself consistently. Life is more complex today than our parents and grandparents had to deal with. Many parents spend many hours per day commuting in their vehicles.
My point is it is easy after dealing with all that stuff it is easy to want to relax at home. I personally have done this but there comes a point where I believe we must ask ourselves, when do I decide to do more despite being tired? When do I as a father decide to improve myself and grow? I believe four qualities good fathers should demonstrate are that they are protective of their children’s inner and outer world, encourage their children to explore and show how both women and men should be treated.
Protective of inner and outer world
Father’s who protect their child’s inner world in my belief do this by ensuring a stable environment exists in their home. That their child feels loved, free to be themselves and not subject to negativity are ways a father can protect their child’s inner world. I strive to be positive around my children, to nurture them by supporting the interests they pick up. Just the other day we had a great time playing with balloons filled with helium that were left over from a birthday party. I tied strings to them so both my children could pull them down. It was tremendous fun for everyone.
How I see the quality of protecting my children from the outer world is by shielding them from the dangers that exist outside of our homes. First if their is an influence outside of our home I can prevent it from being welcomed inside in the form of a friend coming over. I still have sometime before I must start dealing with this often but a few of the neighbors older kids have not always been nice to my daughter who is quite younger. One of those is no longer friends with my daughter since my daughter decided to stop playing with her after talking with my wife and I.
Encourage child to explore
Another quality I believe that makes a good father is when he is able to encourage his children to explore themselves, their likes, dislikes whether that be food, music, entertainment, activities and so on. As father I am trying to encourage my children to be who they really are meant to be. This means introducing different activities they may not have participated in previously. It is done by offering new foods they have not eaten before either. Exposing them to a variety of music genres.
Also, as children age their preferences may change. What they enjoyed previously may in the future not be of interest to them. Exposing them to new experiences continuously as they grow up will ensure they have amply opportunity to develop their interests and learn more about themselves. If they know what they like, dislike, what they are passionate about and know what they want out of life before they arrive at adulthood they will have a leg up on their peers.
Demonstrate how women are to be treated
Both girls and boys need to see daily how women are to be treated. A positive model where your wife is loved, cared for and listened to, attended to, spoken to with love, where you go above and beyond for her is what a woman deserves. In today’s world with life being so busy it is easy to want to put our feet up and chill out.
It is not enough if you want to have a thriving marriage, a house attended to that is well maintained (aka, fixing things when they breakdown). I do my best now to take care of things not just on the weekends but during the week also.
As fathers we can demonstrate also in public how women are to be treated. I do things like holding the door, letting ladies pass first and speaking in a respectful manner around ladies.
Demonstrate how men are to be treated
Just as important as how women are to be treated the same importance must be given to how men are to be treated.
As love is important for women so is respect for men.
First you must respect yourself enough to speak up when something in your view is not right, no matter how others may react to it. I have to work at this since I have a sensitive heart for matters. This applies to all people I come into contact with.
Second, what company do you keep? How do other men and yourself talk when no one else is around (ie, women)? What we accept and participate in becomes our internal dialog. Sometimes men try to relate to each other by speaking less than favorably about the world around them including women. Anytime other men speak like that around me it makes me very uncomfortable and I do not want to keep their company any longer.
Third, how others talk to you is important. Do they speak in a respectful way or do you notice it is rude and sarcastic? Do your children talk back? Does your wife speak anything less than sweetness to you? It is never too late to start changing how others talk with you. Try next time someone is speaking very loudly to speak very quietly. See what happens and leave a comment below. Do they continue speaking loudly or notice your voice level is low and drop theirs to match yours? If someone is attacking you verbally how do you respond? In like or calmly ask what their problem is? Do you see what I am trying to demonstrate here?
CHOOSE TO REACT, DO NOT REACT TO OUTSIDE STIMULANTS.
As men we have very little control over how our world interacts with us. The trick I have come to learn is that we as men have the power to CHOOSE how we respond to our world. So practice CHOOSING TO RESPOND to your world and demonstrate through this action how men are to act and be treated to your children.
It is my hope that you know have an understanding of four qualities good fathers can demonstrate to their children and how you can apply them to your own life. That children understand and see how their fathers protect their inner and outer worlds from dangers all around. In addition, child learn how their father encourages them to develop to their fullest potential by picking up and learning new skills and interests. Lastly that fathers demonstrate how men and women are to be treated so children have a clear understanding by the time they become adults.
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Have a great day!
Proud papa of two,