Be the change you want see in the world! Vow to do better next time!

Be the change you want see in the world! Vow to do better next time!

 

Societal portrayal of fathers

sad bad fathers
As a father you face many responsibilities. Life can be tough and challenging at times. How we choose or not choose to deal with situations in life as they arise are always being observed by our children and spouse. You can plan out how you will handle any given situation ahead of time and yet the x-factor will throw a monkey wrench into the pistons of your machine messing everything up. The result of this on your part may be humiliation, defeat, frustration among other emotions. You have and need to recognize the power, strength and influence you have on creating the potential for a specific outcome in any given situation. Be the change you want see in the world by vowing to do better next time!

Society today often portrays fathers and men as irresponsible, not serious, dumb bumbling creatures that happen to live in a house with his wife and children. You do not see many television programs these days positively portraying men with many good qualities. Yes the media plays a role in creating these characters but you as a man need to take responsibility for these creations too. If as men we refused to be stereotyped into these roles as defined by these shows by not watching them and encouraging others around us to do the same, tomorrow we would begin to see more positive models on television. Also, societal perceptions of men and fathers would begin to change given enough time and positive role models.

Get up after failure

rising
When you fail at achieving the goal you set out to do vow to get back up and do better next time. Do not defend yourself or your ego. Remember it is about becoming a better father for your children and husband to your wife. Your own father may have tried but failed to set a proper example of what it means to be a father and man. He may not have known how to do so and just 20 years ago would have had less information available today to turn to as sources to provide encouragement and advice.

Today there is a lot more information freely available online and if you do not find what you are looking for you can start your own online social community to obtain support and information. When you fall get back up, dust yourself off, focus on the positive, on what you can change today to start moving towards the reality you want for your family. Today’s reality is the sum of our pasts actions.

 

One example doing better

change
I apologize ahead of time if you have strong feelings towards senator John McCain and I do not intend in the following point to speak on whether his political policies were right or wrong. I only refer to the example he set as I saw it from an interview.

Former senator John McCain explained in an interview on the View that he had a laundry list of “regrets” from his life serving his country in the government. What impressed me was his approach and attitude to those things he wished he could change. Rather than get down on himself, attack what some today would consider political opponents to shift the spotlight and blame away from himself (mistakes and failures) instead he worked to understand what occurred, why it occurred and to try not repeating those same mistakes in the future.

I believe this to be a healthy approach to situations we face in life. It allows you to experiment and practice new concepts and ideas in order to move closer to the vision you have for your world. He did in his work to serve his country throughout his life.

In your role as a father and husband you can approach situations you come across with a similar approach. If something did not go according to how you planned it you can learn from it and do better next time. One situation may be that you wanted to bring your family closer together by booking a surprise trip to a weekend getaway at a nice resort they had been asking for but did not book reservations in time. The result might have been a lost trip or less desirable room. The next time you will know to make plans well in advance.

You may have regrets after situations where you had a teachable moment for your children but did not do it with calm and composure to help them understand your lesson. Although regrettable when we lose are cool in teachable situations it is not the end of the world. You can learn from the pain it caused and vow to not do it again. You will be a better father for it. Even if you have handled a situation that has repeatedly come up for years, it is not too late to stop doing that now. Decide to change the manner in which you handle situations with your family. You have it in you!

As a father set the example

example
You may or may not realize but as a father you have enormous power and influence over the situation in your household. Your spouse and children although they may not verbally say it or may not even be aware themselves need you to set the example and environment for your family. Actually as father and husband you are already doing this whether it is passively or actively on your part in your own household. You may be setting it positively or to the detriment of your family.

You are the guard of morality, spirituality, emotionally and financial health of your home. It is your role whether you and those around you today acknowledge it. It’s only been in the last 30 to 50 years that this has changed in our current society as reflected in our current cultural climate on television.

I believe it to be the natural role of a man in his household. A problem I believe exists is that hardly anyone is teaching this to our sons and daughters on what it means to be a man and father. Saying all of this is easy, for you to set a positive example will be the challenge and it is not something you will accomplish overnight. It will take time, patience and a lot of sweat on your part. You can do it though and your family deserves it. More men need to establish this as there aim, there goal for themselves. We need to step up to the plate and find a way to create a better future for our families and our society.

Conclusion

In conclusion, we examined the role of men in their families lives. We looked at the importance of getting up after falling down, John McCain’s actions and attitudes as an example to strive for and lastly as fathers setting the example in our households for our wives and children.

 

 

 

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10 thoughts on “Be the change you want see in the world! Vow to do better next time!”

  • Being a father myself to young kids, I can relate to most things in your article. It’s a challenge actually to be a good father and a role model for our children in today’s fast-paced, digital world. It’s a challenge to start imparting good moral values to the children because many of the earlier concepts of familial relations that were there in my generation have gone a sea-change. We cannot remain orthodox in our opinions and there’s a strong need to understand the changing mores. This article is a breath of fresh air and will resonate to most fathers.

    • Yes today’s world is rapidly changing year from year. When I think back to the mid 90s we used to have big cell phones and pagers were still a thing. Work was still done on paper and the internet was in its infancy with for public use. Kids still played outside and parents kicked them out from being inside on their nintendo’s too long. Dinner time at the dining table was still a thing.

      How are we to know what our children are watching on their Ipads? Unless we are around enough to know what they are watching we really do not know. There is no real board reviewing content of what is being produced for children. 

      Its my observation that people can create any content as long as it respects private companies like Youtube policies. Youtube is a private company that can do as it pleases. We should not be trusting private companies with our children.

      I would really appreciate if you could elaborate on the following sentence you wrote:

      “We cannot remain orthodox in our opinions and there’s a strong need to understand the changing mores.”.

      Are you trying to say as fathers we should understand the changing morals of society and that of our children? If not what are you trying to explain? Please tell me, I am really interested.

      Awaiting your reply,

      Jody

  • Thanks for the article! I really enjoyed reading it. I raised my son who is now 19 and in the Air Force. I have tons of regrets (like you mentioned with John McCain), but my biggest struggle is finding myself in the single game once again. You talk about that stereotype that the media is perpetuating, but there’s nothing I can really do about it when all the new women I meet have that mentality that men are worthless…

    I loved raising my son and it’s the happiest memory in my life. I wouldn’t be opposed to having more kids, but it’s just not worth being treated so terribly… What are your thoughts?

    • Hi Jason,

      Thanks for taking the time to comment. You sound like you would make the right woman the luckiest girl in the whole world. She is out there if you believe she is. Easier said than done I know.

      Whatever the real influences for the culture change in North America, the fact is there now exists women who do not think they need a man or know how to treat one correctly. Same can be said for men and how they should treat a woman.

      I do not know your history, your beliefs and values so please do not take offense to what I am about to say. Just want to enlighten and broaden your horizons in regards to finding the woman of your dreams.

      Have you considered every dating a woman from a different culture? 

      Or a different ethnicity?

      Are you a Christian? Do you believe in God? 

      If you are a Christian you may want to search for a woman of faith.

      Also woman from other cultures like Latin cultures have similarities with our North American culture. A woman from this background may be a possibility for you since I believe they are more family first focused and want a husband and father for their children. At the same time they can be women that persue a career if it helps support their family. 

      At the very lest you have nothing to lose by watching some YouTube videos of multi cultural/ethnic couples to see what it’s like, the good and the bad. People from Asia marry people from Latin America. African ethnicity marrying Caucasian ethnicity. If you can envision it people are doing it now more than ever before. 

      Same for dating a Cristian woman.

      Hopefully this has given you some help. Please let me know your thoughts on what I wrote in a comment. Thanks and have a great day!

      Proud papa of two,

      Jody

  • Unfortunately, too many fathers today work far too many hours and miss out on many of the things you mention in your article. I have raised three amazing children, along with my wife’s help of course. We as fathers, have to take our role as a father more serious than our jobs or we are doomed to fail in that role. When my oldest son was about 11 years old, he had a seizure that ended up being a brain tumor. Within 24 hours of that diagnosis, he had brain surgery and we were very fortunate to have an amazing surgeon that removed all of the tumor and my son is an amazing athlete and young man today. I swore when that happened that I would never miss anything related to my kids growing up, including sports, school, and any other activities they were involved in. I coached them all in every sport, even in high school.

    Men, man up and don’t miss out on your golden opportunity to watch your kids grow up, because they will only be children once. Guide and direct them to do the right things and best of luck to you all!

    • Hello Curtis,

      Very well said!

      Its a matter of making a decision to spend out time investing in our children. 

      I am pleased to hear your son is doing very well today!

      Proud papa of two!

      Jody

  • First of all, I’m not a dad but, reaching 27 years old, I have a deepening appreciation for my father and all dads out there for the never-ending sacrifices and commitments they make everyday for their entire lives for the sake of their children despite the vast uncertainty and surprises they are faced with. Great topic for a post in your niche. Thank you for writing this.

    I like how you get right into breaking down the mainstream portrayals of fathers. I agree it IS a toxic archetype that we DON’T have to accept and continue to fuel. I’m fortunate my father stopped paying the cable bill midway in my childhood! lol Children do learn more from examples, in life and in the media they consume, so everyone playing a part in being proactive to change that mindset is absolutely key. 

    Maybe by cutting down TV time and having more quality bonding time that require father and child(ren) being present with one another thereby building rapport and trust for future challenging times. (Kind of like building emotional/trust credit)

    Another point I resonated with was learning from past mistakes or lessons and using as a teaching tool to make better decisions in the future rather and easy way to self-punish. A simple age-old advice we’ve all heard but is a cliche for a reason. As I get older I embrace it more. You also displayed it in your example of Senator McCain.

    I’ve seen these changes in my own father especially in how he treats me as an adult now as opposed to as an adult 8 years ago. I can see with his actions that he is taking the feedback from past “failures” and adjusting for the better as time goes on.  At the same time and consequentially, I am learning to treat him with the same respect I require to be treated myself. 

    It’s truly little things that add up to bigger things and that happens quickly.I once heard it like this and I believe it holds a lot of truth for this topic and others: 

    “How we do anything is how we do EVERYTHING.” 

    —Francesco

    • Hello Francesco,

      Thanks for the comment.

      Yes, quality time is important. I will not cut off the tv because it has its benefits too as does all other technologies. Problems arise though when I allow my children access to these devices for long periods of time. So it is better to balance how much time they have to those devices. It is easy enough to find them other activities to do with them and by themselves also.

      We always have the option to learn from our mistakes as fathers. It is up to us to realize this and then learn from them. A change of perspective can surprise you how much things appear very different.

      Take care,

      Proud papa of two,

      Jody

  • Hello Jody,

    Thanks for writing this article, more men need to realize what their roles are on life, and stop letting this world dictate,  what is right based on what political agenda is being promoted.

    We men need to stand for something or we will fall for anything, right? That is an old statement but is very true. There is no need to be crazy, hot headed, or belligerent with anyone, but take a stand for what is right in a calm manner.

    Something that men can do is watch their surroundings, most people are so focused on their phones and tablets while in public that they are obilvious to what is going on.

    If we keep our heads in the sand, things are going to continue to get worse. Most men I am around are good hard working family men, they need to be encouraged to stand for what is right.

    Thanks for reminding us!

    Have a great day!

    Chad 

    • Hello Chad,

      Thanks for your comment and I agree, men need to be reminded and encouraged to stand for something. Their children will benefit greatly from their involvement.

      It is easy to be hooked on our phones, tablets and other electronic devices. To much of which is bad for us in my opinion. Reminds me of how people considering smoking 70 years ago. Everyone did it, were not aware it was bad for you. Now most people would agree smoking is bad. 

      I see we need to learn to balance using electronics and living our lives without them. 

      Glad you found the article informative!

      Proud papa of two,

      Jody

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