6 Negative Lifelong Effects Bullying Has On Victims

6 Negative Lifelong Effects Bullying Has On Victims

 

Bullying is a serious problem in today’s society that should concern all parents as it can have long term consequences for our children if not dealt with now. Look at all the problems occurring in today’s world in Western Society. So many people are disrespectful. Many people dealing with a variety of problems that effect their daily lives and of those around them.

 

Let’s look at 6 negative lifelong effects bullying has on victims so we better understand the consequences of bullying. By doing so each of us as parents can reexamine what we are actively doing in our own lives and that of our children’s to help stop it. No child today should grow up being bullied. There are enough challenges we currently face for them to have to work extra hard to overcome something we can work together to put an end to.

 

 

It is a simple decision, what kind of world do we want our children growing up in? What kind of world do you?

 

 

Let’s begin looking at serious long term effect of bullying on children.

 

Issues With Mental Health 

 

 

One life long effect of bullying is that victims can deal with mental health problems for part or the entirety of their lives. Upon doing research I learned that studies have shown around 20% of people who were bullied as children live with mental health problems later in their lives. Some people in their 50s were shown to have mental health problems as a result of being bullied in their youth.

 

 

I interpret the stat of 20% of people who were bullied as children have problems later in life as an indication that each individual and experience are different. If the stat is to be believe than 80% of people who were bullied come out unaffected by their experiences of bullying. Maybe this is a reason why to degrees it still occurs in today’s schools and people’s preconceived conceptions of bullying.

 

 

Even today in movies and on TV to varying degrees bullying occurs. Things that might seem funny from TV SHOWS AND MOVIES in real life are a lot less so. Even though I was bullied I still find some movie/TV moments of bullying funny. I just bring this up to bring awareness that bullying is still acceptable part in our culture.

 

 

Mental health problems in adults are not always easy to identify and diagnose. The individuals themselves may not realize they have such problems that are a result of being bullied during their formative years.

 

 

I believe it is important that we as individuals and society do not put pressure on people to get over it when they share how they were bullied and the effects it had on them. Unless you or I are trained professionals in psychology and know how to help these people we should do our best to be supportive.

 

 

The last thing you or I should say to someone who says they were bullied and are dealing with mental health problems is that they should get over it already because it occurred many years ago. I hope this does not occur since the human mind is complex and what works for one individual in overcoming problems may not work the same for another.

 

Issues With Social Anxiety

 

 

A second effect of bullying that has long-lasting impacts on individuals is the development of social anxieties. Individuals who are bullied can learn from the experience to be nervous in any interaction with individuals or groups since it was not safe for them when they grew up. Being bullied every day and living in fear of going to school is not an ideal situation for an individual to learn how to interact with peers and society in general.

 

 

I for one now recognize within myself social anxiety as I do not like large groups of people. I find it awkward to understand and follow social customs. I often get nervous about what I am expected to do and how to react. Failing to meet those expectations leaves me feeling worse and low on self-confidence.

 

 

Had I been able to work on my social skills as a child instead of worrying and trying to avoid being bullied during my youth I might be better now at this. Childhood is supposed to be a time in life where they learn how to interact socially with peers. This can be learned later in life but it does set one back in their development.

 

 

One of the more stressful effects of my social anxiety was my desire to have a social life and the desire to have friends. When you want something but can not have it like a social life it knocks your self-confidence down.

 

 

I have been working on my interactions socially like at work. But when it comes to new experiences my social anxiety comes back very strongly which until now I did not fully understand what was happening. So you can see how when children are bullied the effect it can have on them can last well into adulthood.

 

Issues With Depression

 

 

A sad effect of bullying on children is that later in life as adults they can deal with depression in their lives as a result. Mind you they could also become depressed while being bullied as well. In hindsight bullying effected me in this way as well despite having a happy personality growing up. I would get depressed sometimes when being bullied.

 

 

It is important if you or someone who was bullied look inwards to see if bullying made them depressed as it can and will effect your life today if not careful.

 

 

I learned online that individuals who were as children bullied may as adults have dreams of suicide and make attempts on their lives. This is very serious and as a society more need to take it seriously.

 

Issues With Self-Esteem 

 

 

I learned after researching more online about bullying long term effects on individuals that problems with self-esteem and bullying even from our childhoods can be linked so if you or someone you know is depressed, deals with anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder I encourage you to get help.

 

 

There is no shame in seeking help no matter the root cause of your depression whether you know or believe you know it is.

 

 

Others may demonstrate more subtle signs of depression which may be linked to their past. Professional help may be needed if you feel you may be effected by depression from childhood bullying experiences.

 

 

Being bullied during my formative years as a child and teenager has left me with problems I will have to continuously work to overcome.

 

 

To get an idea of what I am discussing here I want to give you an example. If I plant two seeds, nurture and love one while ignoring the other but give just enough water to survive the first will be much healthier than the second one. This is why it is imperative we protect our children from bullying and stamp out the cultural acceptance of it.

 

 

The problems with children who are bullied are too great to ignore when it is simply something we can work on to stop. There are enough challenges for our children to overcome in their lifetimes.

 

 

Bullying should not be one!

 

Issues With Anger 

 

 

I was surprised to learn that some anger problems I find myself struggling with might be influenced from my past bullying experiences.

 

 

Bullies and victims as I discovered both feel anger but differently. Bullies act on their anger with aggressive behavior by attacking, belittling their victim. Victims of bullying on the other hand use passive aggressive behavior in dealing with their anger.

 

 

I am uncomfortable with being assertive to express my own feelings, wants and desires to others. Recognizing this fact has been liberating for me. I need to begin applying what I have learned in my own life.

 

 

So if you or someone you know was bullied as a child and they have anger problems now it might be because they were unable to learn how to express their feelings in a healthy manner. Telling someone to stop bullying might seem simple enough but if trapped in the fear and anxiety they might not have been able to say something nor reach our for help. It is worth exploring to see if their current problems with anger might be tied to these experiences.

 

Issues With Health And Trust 

 

 

Imagine you are a child being bullied unable to ask for help and do not have the tools to deal with this yourself. Think of what an experience like that might do to an individual during their formative years. How alone it must feel and no way to make it stop. Then it becomes part of your life and the thought of changing it never crosses your mind. How would you deal with it?

 

 

Naturally as individuals whether a child or adult when we are under stress we turn to outlets whether healthy or not to provide a temporary relief from our uncomfortable situation. This can affect a child’s health as they may eat more than they should. They may if they are old enough turn to alcohol and drugs. Each of these can have dire effects on our children setting them up for serious health concerns later in life.

 

 

Trust is something children learn during their formative years. Trust in themselves, their peers and authority figures such as parents, teachers and government officials. When children are bullied and their peers do not come to our defense this does lead to a lack of trust in them. It is important as parents we teach our children understand the importance of standing up for their peers when they see them being bullied.

 

 

It will teach them to do right when wrong is being done in this world. It will also teach them how it feels when they do right verse when they do wrong but not saying anything. It feels good doing something that helps another person while not helping another in their time of need at the time and long after makes us feel terrible which can effect our self-confidence.

 

 

If someone is bullied as a child and no one came to their defense it can take years if ever to regain a sense of trust in others. I fear more often than it should occur our children are not doing this with their peers. Growing up it was an issue for me. Media, social media and movies today still have bullying part of the narrative. We as parents need to make it unacceptable.

 

Conclusion

 

It is my hope this post has provided you with a reason to reexamine your perspectives on bullying so we can work together to create a world where all our children grow up feeling school is a place they can be themselves. Where they can learn and grow as individuals and not be looking over their shoulder worried the bully is going to get them when they are not looking.

 

 

Each of us as parents needs to do our part in order to change the perception that bullying is ok. If it was already the perception than bullying would no longer be occurring and all parents would be working to stamp it out.

 

 

If you would like to read more about BULLYING I wrote a great post which explores it in more detail.

 

 

Thank you for your time,

 

 

Proud papa of two,

 

 

Jody.

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6 thoughts on “6 Negative Lifelong Effects Bullying Has On Victims”

  • thanks for this interesting discourse on the effects of bullying on its victims. This is an alarming issue and it cause for more greater actions from all parties to counter or settle. Firstly, learning the fact that more than 20% of the bullying victims get psychologically disturbed is very disheartening. That’s massive! I really wish we can just put an end to bullying.

    • Hello RoDarrick,

      We as parents can take action by getting our children involved in clubs so they have peers they can trust. Creating safe spaces for them to work on their self-confidence.

      Also we can encourage our children to start anti-bullying clubs/organizations or join them if they already exist. 

      Organize an anti-bullying fair to help raise awareness of the dire negative consequences of bullying.

      Remember we can change our beliefs and perspectives. This is a real option always available to each of us daily. We just need to learn to be aware of this and choose to do differently.

      I for one want to create a cultural change were bullying is looked down upon and action taken to prevent it. Just as others before have worked to end drunk driving and raising awareness of the horrible health risks involved in smoking.

      Proud papa of two,

      Jody

  • Thank you for discussing this very sensitive but important issue. It is so very important for us as parents to respond in a supportive and compassionate fashion when a child finally expresses their experiences and feelings when they’re being bullied. 

    It is also important to keep a keen eye out and notice emotional or behavioral changes in our children, since not all those who are being bullied will have the courage to come forward and say so. Thanks again for shedding more light on this subject!

    • Hello Shannon,

      Bullying I believe has no place in our world today. As parents and realities of our children we need to work together to put an end to it. 

      I hope I was able to highlight some of the negative effects of bullying on children that some carry with them into adulthood to motivate parents to take action. It is more than worthwhile for us to take every action possible to stop bullying from occurring.

      Children who are bullies are dealing with their own issues or making poor decisions due to wanting to be popular. The things children get away with can one day land them in jail or worse. There needs to be more done to help them understand and support their needs so they get the assistance required.

      If not then victims will continue paying the cost of our collective preemptive action.

      Proud papa of two,

      Jody

  • Jody,

    This has brought back experiences of my own as a child.  I was bullied horrifically as a child in elementary school up until my junior year in high school until I finally took a stand against it myself.  It was so difficult to try to make friends, because I didn’t trust if they really wanted to be my friend or were setting me up to hurt me, that’s truly how it felt when I was younger.and it most definitely affected me later in life.  I finally was able to be around people I could trust and who actually took a stand against those that were bullying me.  I too, whenever I am witness to bullying will say something, I can not look past it.  I do know that the insecurities I feel and the reasons I still second guess myself is due to the bullying I received when I was younger.  Though I do not have children of my own, I witnessed one of my nephews suffer through bullying and do to that has weight issues and anger issues, and puts up such a wall, it’s very hard to break it down.  Yet he has the kindest and most giving heart for a young man and constantly my sister, myself and his siblings remind him how incredible he is.  It is tough though, because a part of you knows you don’t deserve to be treated this way but at the same time you also wonder if you are at fault as to why this happens to you.  I appreciate your post as it is important that we are made aware the seriousness of bullying and how important it is to stop in whatever way we can.

    Robert

    • Hello Robert,

      My heart breaks for the pain you experienced and the problems you face today as a result. It is great you were able to take a stand against bullying. What led you to decide to do it?

      Your nephew sounds like he is truly a treasure and a gift from God. It breaks my heart also to hear he has been bullied and now deals with anger and weight issues. I am sure your family has been doing everything to help your nephew with the bullying. Does he have a safe place to turn to?

      I wish now that I had a safe place to go as a child, a club of individuals with the same interests as me. Peers that would see my talents and appreciate me. If I had that experience I believe it would have made me stronger and believe in myself, gain some self-confidence. 

      Having that self-confidence might have given me a change of perspective and desire to change my situation of accepting the bullying as part of my life. I then could have spoken up or taken a stand as you did growing up. Remember ending bullying is important. Whether we do it ourselves or others help us (Eg, Authority figures).

      I want to change the narrative and have all people actively advocate that bullying has no place in our modern times for our children’s sake.

      People used to not think twice about smoking and now the majority know it is a serious health risk to partake in. People used to drink and drive without a care in the world. Today people view it very negatively. 

      It is more than possible for us to change our own perceptions on bullying. Just because it was acceptable in the past does not mean it needs to be today. As parents and relatives of our children we just need to decide enough is enough.

      It starts with each of us.

      Proud papa of two,

      Jody

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