3 Tips To Stop Bullying That You Can Start Doing Today
Are you or someone you know being effected by bullying? I was as a child and wish now I could have had the courage to speak out about being bullied. I am now a parent and worry that my children may one day be subject to it or could themselves become bullies. As parents, we must not assume neither will happen to our children based off of how we believe them to behave and act around other children.
I believe the best way we as parents can help put an end to bullying is by taking action every day. Do not sit back believing bullying is not or will not touch your child’s life at some point. In this post we will examine 3 tips to stop bullying that you can start doing today if you are being bullied or encourage your children to do if reading this as a parent.
The need to accept yourself first is one very important step in stopping bullying, if you do not do this as I have learned online it leaves the door open for bullying too continue. Either you will continue to accept being bullied or may bully others to try to deal with it yourself.
I have struggled with self-confidence my entire life. Being aware how BULLYING affected me growing up only recently has allowed to see its power to destroy my self-confidence. I am worthwhile and know this but subconsciously for me at least my mind still did not believe this. The subconscious can greatly influence our decision as we naturally relay on its conditioning to help assist us make decisions daily.
Accepting yourself does a few things.
- One thing it does it allow you to feel and believe your wants, desires and needs are all valuable. That who you are as a person or are becoming as a person is just as important as everyone else around you. When you do not accept you for who you are as I have you tolerate the intolerable because the alternative is too scary. By accepting yourself you allow your self-confidence to return which makes changing your situation possible.
- After you have accepted yourself you will be able to decide how you want to deal with your problem of being bullied. Knowing you are worthy of not accepting the bullying behavior will allow you to choose to either talk with your parents, a teacher or someone in a position of authority at your school. I never reached out to anyone as I did not have this self-confidence.
Bring Into The Light Your Story
Sharing your story of experiences with bullying is another important step to take. Problems can not be shared and dealt with if we do not talk about them. Instead, if left alone they grow and morph into something much uglier and bigger than the original problem to begin with.
Anytime we can not deal with a situation it is natural to find an escape to relieve the stress. Some turn to activities, TV, video games, drugs and much more. When these “solutions” to our problems are used continuously instead of dealing directly with the situation it can have serious consequences for us and our relationships with others. Instead of growing closer to our family and friends we pull away.
By talking about bullying we can avoid using these escapes. It might be scary but it is honestly better than turning to them. You can lose yourself in them. Instead, by talking about your experience of being bullied you can choose those activities as a way to help you grow and thrive as an individual.
Speak Up When You See Bullying
When bullying occurs in front of us and we do nothing, it affects us on some level just as much as the person being bullied. From what I have read online people who were bullied as children encourage witnesses to bullying too step up and say something when it happens.
It is worse when due to peer pressure or feeling that a way to prevent bullying is to do it to another child is the solution, I felt worse about myself afterwards and even at times while bullying other children. I admit it and it shames me to say I did. It made me feel very bad about myself.
Had I met the situation of being pressured to bully another child instead with saying no despite the threat of those other students turning on me I would have felt much better about myself. If you find yourself in such a situation choose to not to allow peer pressure to make you bully another child.
It never occured to me to speak up when I saw bullying occurring. It was always an option though. In our culture from movies, TV and in our communities when I was growing up bullying was an acceptable part of life. It was something children do. I see from what I have been reading this is starting to change.
A young teenager girl started an app called Sit With Us where bullied victims can join, make friends and help change their perspectives on being bullied. The app is giving bully victims the opportunity to heal and feel like they are not alone. Natalie Hampton is the create and she decided to speak up by taking action to create a lasting change.
Other stories I have read about online talked about how they started their own anti-bullying organizations in their schools. If you or someone you know is being bullied I urge you to NOT ACCEPT any form of bullying in your life. You are so valuable. As children and teenagers due to not being fully developed mentally and emotionally this is not always easy for you to understand or comprehend. Adults struggle to feel worthwhile.
I understand the pain and fear you might be feeling. It still hurts me to the core and makes tears come to my eyes thinking about my experiences. Please for your sake do something NOW. If you see bullying speak up! If you are being bullied REACH OUT. Take action by starting your own school anti-bullyiing group if non-exists. You never know whose life it will change.
As a student I understand how the school years seem like they will never end when you are being bullied. They will be in the long run as very small part of your life. Despite this they are indeed VERY impactful on your formation as a person. These years you need time to learn who you are. Not be focusing all your energy on dealing with being bullied.
You do have the POWER to change your own life. At any stage of your life. Whether as a child, teenager or adult. Sooner you learn this lesson the better. Bullying is done by other children who either seek a sense of power or security for themselves. Throw the ball back into their court however you can and do not play the game anymore with them.
YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING TO DESERVE IT! Its been said many times before, you are perfect as you are now. None of what you consider or are told are imperfections within yourself warrant being treated poorly in this manner.
If you see someone being bullied be courageous and speak up to bring shame on the person or people doing the bullying.
To quote Soothsayer from the movie Kung Fu Panda,
“Your story may not have such a happy beginning but that does not make you who you are, it is the rest of it- who you choose to be”
Remember being bullied does not reflect upon who the victim is although they may come to believe this to be true. When one is a victim it is important they accept who they are and believe they are worthy of respect from other individuals.
If you were bullied as a child please do not hold your story in. By sharing, it with others you may be able to demonstrate how it effected you and how it needs to not be accepted in today’s society. If you are a child being bullied having the courage to share your story can help you bring awareness and support to you in your time of need. It may also help other children going through a similar situation to speak out themselves.
Lastly whether you are an adult or child by always speak up when you see another person being a bully. You might feel like it will do nothing, the person being picked on might not react in an appreciative way as you’d expect. But it will be the correct thing to do. It will feel much worse if you say nothing than by speaking up.
For me it is just showing basic human kindness.
Change your own beliefs today, make a change for all of our children and their future.
Read up on the NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF BULLYING here.
Thanks for reading,
Proud papa of two,